Grab On, Hold Tight

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Music thump thump thumps in the backround and fleshy body parts penetrate others. Not sex, but the closest thing to it. In every sense. The moaning, the sweating, the grunting, the heart racing pleasure of it all. It was, in every essence, sex. But not. Just dancing. But the same intimacy and feeling.

Now that the difference is plainly and painfully clear we can move on in this tale. To the beginning perhaps, since that’s the only reasonable place to start. To the night when I stumbled upon Flowing Beats.
So, there I was; Piss poor. Piss drunk. Only a few pathetic, wrinkled bills in my pocket and only a few inklings of sense in my head. Picking verbal fights with strangers well out of my path. Not that I’m normally an angry drunk. I’m very friendly when I’m drunk, but not too in your face. The perfect alcoholic.
But this night was different. This night I had to be angry. This night I had to kill time. It’s either that, or be scared. And if I was scared, I was terrified, for I had no place to go. My girlfriend had kicked me out and I was street bound for the night.
“I’m not gonna have no drunk runnin’ around every night making a fool of himself! Never again will I have to open the door to your pathetically drooping face and your wrists shackled in handcuffs. Never again will I wake up to your alcohol fueled libido. And never again will I bail you out of jail! Pick your shit up in the morning and  scram!”
If I hadn’t been silenced from devastation I would have told her to take that speech and shove it. But all I did was put my head in my hands and wonder where I’d lie my weary bones that night.
Then I was strewn into the streets to fend for myself. That’s when I happened upon Flowing Beats. Well, sort of. It wasn’t really my discovery but that of the man I drunkenly stumbled into.
“Hey, man! Watch where the hell you’re going!”
And I, not noticing the line of people in front of the man, cleverly said, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t stand in the middle of the fucking sidewalk, eh?”
That’s when he stepped aside and showed me the line of people in front of him. Every type of person you could imagine. The Go-Getters, the Shooter-Uppers, the Looker-Arounders, the Stuck-Upskies. And I was amazed by every single one.
“Hey,” I said nudging the man I had bumped into. “What’re you all waitin’ in line for?’
He rolled his eyes at me, as if I was the biggest imbecile he’d ever met in his life. He held up his hands as if addressing heaven itself. “This is Flowing Beats.” I was kind of hesitant to ask, at the risk of sounding stupid again, but that night I was feeling pretty bold, “What’s that?” Which was not the most sophisticated way to ask that question but with another quick glance toward heaven he answered, “It’s a night club like no other.”
I thought of asking why it was so unique but I decided to see for myself.
By the time the line slowly disappeared into the night club it had already been 45 minutes. But it’s not like I had anywhere to be and walking even a quarter of the way into the club was worth the wait.
It was magnificent. Just merely walking in brought questions to life in my mind that I had never thought to think before.
It was kind of a hippie disco. Everyone was closing their eyes and flailing around to the beat of a very peculiar song. It was screeching yet relaxing at the same time. It made me want to dance too. It made me need to dance. Need to get in.
I closed my eyes and swayed until it was my turn to go up to the bouncer.
“Name?” He demanded.
Why he would need my name escaped me in that state of mind. “Uh, Branden Manford.”
He scanned his list and it slowly became clear that this was reservation only.
“Ssssorry,” He looked up from the clipboard. “Not on the list. Next.”
A woman with too much makeup started to step in front of me. But I politely held her back with my arm.
“C’mon, man. You gotta let me in. I ain’t got nowhere else to go! C’mon, man!”
“That’s a cute little sob story there sir but either you make a reservation and pay ten bucks or you pay twenty. Now, I said step–”
And then there she was, jiving over to to me, goddess in the flesh. She seemed to materialize out of thin air.
I scanned her up and down. Her brown hair flowed beneath her black bowler’s hat that clung to the back of her head some how.
She opened her eyes and somehow they were immediately upon me. I froze in place as she took my hand and said, her eyes still permeating mine, “He’s with me.” It was barely audible but the words were powerful enough to get me in and to get my lead legs to move.
Her eyes still remained upon me until we got to the dance floor. Where we danced.
But it was so much more than that! So much more spiritual and magical than that. I moved with her to the screeching/relaxing song.
All my loves are hidden in pieces/All my loves are within a wild night…
Her shoulders rolled and rolled against my now sweaty and bare chest. It was all happening so fast, it was all so overwhelming and…
…If they’re still up high we’ll throw ‘em to the sea/ Watch the murder of the wilds to the music of the deep Ooww/ Hey! Wild night! Hey! Wild night! Ooww! Wild night!…
Her head rolls onto my shoulder and her open and gasping mouth makes me shiver with pleasure as I close my eyes and let my body and the beat take control. And they do a very good job of it. Making my normally choppy movements flow smoothly. And my normally apprehensive mood relaxed. Like nothing could harm me.
…Wild night, wild night, wild night, WILD NIGHT! wild night, wild night, wild night, In A WILD NIGHT!
Then the music ended and I felt slightly lost without it, but then there was applause and I looked down and saw The Goddess and she was clapping and cheering and whooping. So… I clapped and cheered and whooped, too.
The Goddess wiped her brow and shook my hand.
“That was a nice dance. One of my best.” She said in between breaths and I smiled at her as she smiled at me and I also smiled at the lovely comment from her lovely lips. And I felt safe. But the safe feeling switched to one of terror as The Goddess began to casually to stroll away. And I not so casually grabbed her shoulder, “But– Where are you going?”
She brushed her shoulder of my hand and I could see a touch of slight disgust in her face and her voice as she said, “We danced. And now we’re done. So I kindly appreciate if you not touch me like that.”
“I’m sorry.” I held my hand to my stomach with my other one self consciously, “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just –I don’t know– I’m kind of confused.” I said rubbing the back of my neck in frustration. Then I lightly slapped my forehead with my hand, as if to slap the words out of my head. I felt a soft hunk of lovely flesh with fingers and a palm slide into mine.
“Hey, man.” She said with a concerned smile. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”
It was then that I realized what it said on her sports bra. It was the logo to the club. Right there in glossy fancy writing it said “Flowing Beats”
“Y–You work here?” I said puzzled.
She look down at her sports bra looking as confused as I was and touched the glossy writing, “Oh, yeah. I–” But she was interrupted by a dark guitar riff. She chuckled slightly and turned around. Bent her head so her mouth was right up to my ear and said, “I’ll explain later. But now we dance.”
And we did, starting with her rolling her body all the way down to the ground while I stood there, lost in the toss, and held her hands.
Here… is my love… BUG/ Found in heEeaven…
She seemed to know every beat as it came. And so did I somehow. Somewhere deep in my brain was the answer, but I really didn’t feel like thinking right then.
It was funny, because I had never been into music before but after that night, it was in my soul. It was within every beat of my heart and every blink of my eye.
…So open up your heart and let it in/ Or, or check insiiiiiiiiiiiiide…
It was with a sudden solemn air that the night ended almost two hours later. With me and her sweating and panting and trying to find our goodbyes somewhere that we didn’t want to go.
“This isn’t good bye, ya’ know?” She said lifting my dismal face to hers with her curled index finger. “Hey! This isn’t goodbye.”
I knodded and smiled shyly, feeling like a small child who had to have things explained to him. But I didn’t care, I wanted things explained to me. I wanted God himself to come down and tell me why good things always had to end so painfully.
“Hey!” I said perking up slightly. She turned around again after just starting to retreat. “I didn’t catch your name…”
She smiled as if I had said something funny, “The name’s Stormi.” She said slyly and kissed me sweetly on the lips.
I kept my eyes closed for a while and could feel that she had to. I could feel her presence dangerously close to mine.
“Mm… Cherries.”
“Wha?” she asked.
“You taste like cherries.”
“Oh, ya?”
“Yeah, and my name is Branden.”
She opened her gray/blue eyes bright into my now wide open brown ones and smiled, “Well, I hope you don’t mind me loving that name.”
Well, hope you don’t mind me lying awake at night repeating your name to myself over and over and… “No I don’t mind at all.”
“Good.” She said giving me another cherry kiss.
“And I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Only if your here, dancing your little heart out tomorrow.” And she broke off of our embrace in a grin.
I had the weirdest feeling. I was wondering if I would ever see her again while at the same time knowing. And knowing is just the greatest feeling.


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