How To Avoid Your Phobias

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Unfortunately many people suffer from real and life altering phobias. They exist, many times, for reasons unknown and it is equally as hard to rid oneself of a phobia. Offered here is a tongue in cheek look at phobias.

Alektorophobia – Fear of chickens. If you are a farmer, there is only one piece of advice; don’t raise chickens. The rest of us tend to live and work in places where there are no chickens, so our phobia is manageable. Phobia or not, if you see a wayward chicken headed in your direction…

Chiroptophobia – Fear of bats. Stay out of caves. Stay out of haunted houses. Stay out of the house I grew up in. It was common to see a bat perched on the top of the curtains at any given moment. As with chickens, if you see a wayward bat headed in your direction…

Ephebiphobia – Fear of teenagers. Teenagers can be avoided. They can’t be avoided if you shop at Wal-mart or the local supermarket, or convenience stores, or the mall. If you have children, you should hide in a closet or get your own apartment until the teenage years have passed. As always, if you see a wayward teenager headed in your direction…

Genuphobia – Fear of knees. To avoid knees, avert your eyes. If you are afraid of your own knees, wear pants and DON’T touch them when you are dressing. Never ever go to the beach or the local pool. Try not to reside in a warm climate. If you see a pair of knees coming in your direction….run.

Lutraphobia – Fear of otters. Never buddy up with an otter. Stay away from beaches, the ocean, rocky outcroppings, yachts, ocean liners and cruise ships. Steer clear of tourist guides in these places as well. They love to point out the otters. If you see an otter lumbering towards you…..lumber away.

Omphalophobia – Fear of belly buttons. Avert your eyes! Quickly. Belly buttons jump out at you when you least expect it. Be careful when you are in shopping malls. They are on beaches hanging out near the otters. If you see a belly button, run!!

Phagophobia – Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten. Experts disagree on how to avoid this phobia. Starving to death would be an option. Intravenous nutrients might help. As for avoiding the fear of ‘being eaten’, you would definitely have to be aware of everyone you come in contact with. You will have to carefully monitor each conversation for signs of Hunger.

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