It’s a random night in the middle of December…
You’ve balanced your appetizer plate on your wine glass to shake when you met and shook hands with a manager, even though you’ve met him no fewer than a dozen times. You’ve made small talk with as many people as you can stand. You’ve even posed for a picture with the singing fish you received in the gift exchange.
But you can’t leave. Not yet. No one has made a speech about how much everyone’s hard work was appreciated this year and how, together, we’ll all achieve new heights of success.
So you lean against a door frame – because there’s never enough seating – and smile pleasantly at those with whom your eyes connect, all the while going through your mental to-do list for the next day.
And that’s when it happens. For a split second, your eyes lock with Mr. Champagne Confidence Casanova, his flit up to something over your head and then the wicked gleam appears in his eyes as though from nowhere. Your stomach sinks and you wonder if the world might do you a favor and end in the next ten seconds.
Ugh…You’re under the mistletoe.
Don’t panic yet. This is only a drill.
We’ve all experienced that awkward mistletoe moment. Even worse if it’s a co-worker heading your way. Worse still if it happens to be your boss. You haven’t won the lottery (but your numbers just have to hit next time) so calling in sick for the next eight months to recover from embarrassment is not an option.
The key to maintaining your sanity – and your flawless lipstick you just reapplied – is to already have a Mistletoe Game Plan in your mind, just in case. Let’s face it, just the sight of Mr. Champagne Confidence Casanova staggering towards you and looking at you as though you might be dinner is going to be more than enough to turn you into little more than a deer in headlights.
Luckily for you, I’ve already got a few ideas – 5, to be exact – to stop your mistletoe meltdown before it starts.
To learn more about this tradition, click here.
Your Get Out of Kiss Free Card
1. Fake a coughing fit. No one will want to kiss you while you’re hacking up a lung. Just be careful not to overdo it. Giving Mr. Champagne Confidence Casanova any opportunity to accidentally feel you up while giving you the Heimlich isn’t your best bet.
2. Tell Mr. CCC that your boyfriend is the jealous type. When asked who your boyfriend is, look puzzled then say, “His ghost is standing right beside you. Didn’t you notice it was colder over here?”
3. Go undercover. Once he’s in earshot, bring your watch to your lips and say, “Target acquired. Poison lipstick applied. Assassination will go off with no bullets or bloodshed.”
4. Go Miss Cleo. As soon as he walks up say, “I knew my psychic was talking about you when she said the love of my life would propose tonight. This is so exciting!”
5. Take a call. Always keep your cell phone handy for emergencies like this. Pull it out, frown at the display and fake an argument with your mother as you walk out of the room
Happy holidays and good luck!
Need more tips? Check out 5 more ways to avoid mistletoe kisses.