I wrote this one to help me deal with my feelings of grief. There is a law of probability that states if something happens enough of times, the probability of reocurrance is predictible.
I am hurting, more than you will ever know.
More than you will ever care.
Not just this time, but a compound
Of all the times before
I have to learn to open eyes
And see them for who they are
And avoid the unexpected surprises
Because my heart is weak and cannot bear much more
I do not know why I continue in this game,
I am not even a good player
And now my heart lies beneath their feet
Rip asunder slice by slice, layer by layer
How much longer, can I endure this pain?
Only to know a life of desolation and suffering
Why is this my plot that I was given
To abide in the darkness of such misery
Is this all that my existence was destined to be
You gave beauty as a curse, and gave me a kind heart
That would never know love
I have played all my aces, I have no more cards
Am I not cursed to only know love afar?
I sit each night and count each tears
And in the silence of this aching sting, I wonder
What in life to deserve this I did
Where can I run and hide from this pain
Where can I get help to accept that love will never be my friend?
And it does not matter how much I try
Because I am destined each time to meet the same end