The answer to how to get what you want from your parents is simple – exchange. Now don’t stop reading. The exchange between children and parents is not money, and not always work. Bare with me here…
Even a baby who gets everything it needs from it’s parents is in exchange when it’s doing what babies are required to do, doing their part as “The Baby”. They smile, let you know when they need something by crying, and then stop when their needs have been met. That smile is all a parent needs from a baby for it to be in exchange.
As the child gets older the level of exchange changes, and a different role is required. There is peace and harmony when the children are fulfilling their part in the home. Brushing their teeth, washing, not breaking house rules, making their beds, all these are exchange.
Then comes the older, more independent child, and teen. Once again, if you want something you need to be in exchange. Each home has it’s own rules, but there are some common courtesies that are also part of that exchange. Saying please and thank you, for example is giving back to your parents in exchange for all they do.
So if you want something from your folks, first find out what is needed and wanted by them, what they consider fair exchange from you as a member of the household. I don’t mean “what do I need to do to get the new play station”, rather “what do I need to do on a regular basis in order to be in exchange with the household”. We each play a role in the home, find out what yours is, and without conditions, start fulfilling that role.
Chances are that one of the main roles you need to play is that of pupil/student. Parents put a lot of effort and money into their kid’s education, so be in exchange in that department.
Then there are household chores. How bad can it be? Take the dog for a walk; take out the trash and come home on time. Really, put it in to perspective, it’s a small price to pay for the love and warmth of a family and home. Once you’ve begun to pull your weight – and it won’t take over night – then you may have earned the right to start asking for things, you may want something financial or perhaps it’s their trust you need to earn. Either way you have to give in order to get. So get into exchange with your home and family. When people are not in exchange resentment builds up on both sides, and even if you start from tomorrow behaving differently, it will probably take a few weeks before your parents realize the change is permanent. You’ll feel better about yourself, and the good vibes at home can only lead to good things.
Don’t be surprised when you start receiving things you didn’t even ask for, as the amount that you give in this universe is equal to the amount that you receive.