It is not his change of style, his staying out late,
it is his irritability which is the ‘give away.’
Everything bothers him. He comes home from work in
a bad mood. Everything you do annoys him, and it is
pretty clear he is picking a fight.
To assuage his guilt he must make it seem that it is
YOU who are at fault. You are ‘driving’ him away.
At this point, you have the upper hand by NOT noticing.
There are very few times in life where ignoring a situation
is beneficial. This is one of them. Pretend not to notice
his behaviour. Do not ask him what is wrong, busy yourself
with whatever you can, whether cleaning a bathroom, reading
a book, going to visit a friend, anything so as to avoid
In this way you gain a little time to sort yourself out.
The first thing you must sort is that You Did Nothing Wrong.
Many women believe it is their fault why their husband has
an affair. It isn’t. Men have affairs to have affairs.
The second thing is that in real life the mistress is often
uglier, stupider, and far less than the wife. This is because
women who are prettier, smarter, and with more going for them
do not get involved with other women’s husbands.
A decent woman would stop any relationship before it moved
beyond casual friendship, so this is not a decent woman. So
do not believe for one second he is trading ‘up’.
The third thing, and the most important is to get back your
Whether the end result of his affair is a divorce or a
reconciliation, you must regain your identity. You can
not exist as Mrs. Husband, especially when Husband is with
As soon as you believe your husband may be having an affair,
the first action is not to catch him, but catch yourself.