How to Get Fired

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The day has come that you just had it with your job and you want to leave but do not want to quit but rather the company fire you, here are some tips for that, if you want to get fired. Or you were fired and are surprised by the event, if you practiced one or more of the following might be the reason.

Arrive late. You can start with a few minutes and then proceed with 30-45 minutes of tardiness. Make sure to arrive with breakfast like coffee and a muffin and looking sloppy.

Do not meet deadlines. If your boss asks why you are late, have a Scarlett O’Hara attitude and dismiss him with saying “Oh, tomorrow is another day”, and dismiss the fact as unimportant.

Make personal long distance calls that last at least half an hour. If the call is international even better, that way the phone bill for the company will be higher.

Take 2 hour lunch breaks and come back to the office with shopping bags and a full set of manicure and pedicure, after all you do not have time for this stuff after work.

During a meeting, take out your cell phone and start calling your friends to tell them how boring the meeting is and put them on speaker phone so that they will understand.

Start spreading untrue stories about your boss and coworkers.

Play constantly online or chat for hours while disregarding all the paperwork that comes on your desk and the phone calls and never return important calls.


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