How to Deal with Bullies

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School bullies are the criminals of the school system. They take our lunch money, beat us up, hurt our friends, and steal our school supplies. They could even harass us just by repeatedly insulting us or humiliating us in front of the student body in general; either way, it’s still bullying. The problem is made even worse when you realize that you’ll have to deal with this bully for as long as the two of you are in school together; nine out of twelve months a year until you graduate, if you’re in high school.

If a fellow freshman starts bullying you, then your high school future looks pretty bleak; or does it?

Bullies are human beings, usually. They are not immortal, have no superpowers, and cannot shift through time just to taunt you. That being said, they may be able to carry out their aggressive actions because of their large size, group of “friends,” and their weapons; what, you’ve never heard of a school bully using a lacrosse stick to extort students? I only list this information because human beings can be defeated; therefore, bullies can be defeated (transitive property, people!). You need to confront your bully with the mindset that you can take him down, because if you don’t, you’ll never succeed. You need to have this confidence.

Humans can be defeated in a few ways. The simplest way is to find someone who is bigger and stronger than the said bully and pay him a couple of bucks to wail on the poor soul until he gives up his bullying ways. Yes, there is nothing wrong with outsourcing the problem, because that’s what friends are forwell, it’s what money is for, at the least. Who knows, if you’re a really smart kid, you could even offer to tutor your “employee” in return for his services.

Taking matters into your own hands can be fun as well. I remember saying something about “weapons” earlier, and if you want to beat up this bully without getting your hands dirty, then you should arm yourself effectively. Now, if you plan to use a paintball gun to confront your bully, then it might be best to confront him after school, or in a secluded area. Swords, baseball bats, lacrosse sticks, tennis racquets, and cars are all effective weapons against school bullies. It also helps if you get a few of your friends to bring baseball bats, sticks, and cars as well, for that makes the fight really one-sided!

You could also tell a teacher if a bully is bothering you. Just kidding. Telling a teacher about a problem is letting the bully win, for if you squeal, then people will taunt you and call you a snitch, which is exactly what the bully wants, to humiliate you. Don’t give in to your impulse to cry in your principal’s lap, but turn that sadness into rage, and use that rage to slam that bully into a locker. Now, I’m only suggesting that you use violence in retaliation to the bully’s violence. If he’s just saying mean things to you, then think of some comebacks, and when it gets physical, you can act appropriately.

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