It’s hard to control your anger when something really bad happens. You feel as if you want to tear the world, or one person in particular, apart when you’ve been hurt pretty badly. You may forget the compassion that you were raised with and yearn to lash out against the people that made you feel this way. You may feel like giving into your most primitive instincts and going crazy when you feel angry because it is the natural thing to do; it is natural to fight back when someone hurts you. However, in order to succeed in this society and make friends, you need to control your anger.
The best way that I found to control my anger was to talk to someone else about it. When I reached a point in my life in which I felt like I just wanted to scream, I did just that…well, sort of. I talked to my best friends and asked them what I should do. After thoroughly explaining the situation I was in to two different people, I got two different responses, of course; however, both of them were rather useful. Both people let me vent to them (yes, one just wasn’t enough) in addition to providing me with answers to questions such as “what did I do to deserve this?” and “how can I make this better?” Talk to a friend whenever you’re feeling angry, tell him or her why you feel angry, and you may end up feeling not-so angry afterwards.
Another way to control your anger is to take ten seconds to just sit and breathe. Close your eyes, sit up straight, and breathe out the anger. Picture whatever it is that is making you angry inside as you exhale, and inhale the good in your life. Think about what makes you happy. Dredge up old memories, reminisce over the best parts of your life, and you should feel a smile start to creep up on your face. Relax yourself, loosen your muscles, and just sit back, or lie down, and clear your head of everything negative. Why would you need to control your anger if it isn’t even present? Just get rid of it and calm yourself down; it’s the most effective way to give yourself a moment of peace, if not cure your anger.
Do something that makes you happy. For example, I really enjoy reading, writing, and working out. Chances are, if I’m angry about something and don’t feel like talking to anyone, I’ll go into my basement and do push-ups. Seriously, it makes me happy, and if I’m happy, how can I be as angry? When you’re angry, you tend to forget that you can be happy, so if you do what makes you happy, you can control your anger by tricking yourself into forgetting what you were angry about. Besides, once you’ve done whatever activity makes you happy and gotten back to thinking about your enraging issue, you’ll definitely be able to think about it with a clearer head.
Sometimes, though, you just have to give in to your anger just a little bit. For example, let a bunch of your pillows have it. Seriously, beat the feathers out of them, teach them a thing or two about judo, rip them apart, or do whatever you want while fueled by your anger. This way, you can take out your rage physically without actually hurting anyone; however, if you beat up pillows, you’ll actually wear yourself out at some point, so once you’ve given them a good beating, ask yourself how you feel. It’s pretty hard to feel like you want to just lash out at the world when you’re dead tired from beating up a bunch of pillows, isn’t it? Make yourself tired, beat something up, and you won’t even want to be angry anymore.
If none of those methods work, then you should sit down, grab a pen or pencil, take out some paper, and write down your thoughts. If you’re angry at one person in particular, write an angry letter to him or her that includes every single mean thing you wish you could say to him or her. Hold nothing back, don’t censor yourself; you need to get these thoughts and feelings out of your body and mind. Once you’re done with the letter, read it over; read it aloud, if you’d like. Then, if you feel satisfied and don’t want to actually show it to the person whom you wrote it for, throw it away, burn it, shred it, or use it as toilet paper. How’s that for controlling your anger?