Top 10 Things Not to Do Around a Woman

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I am about to make a list, if my true identity is ever revealed I will probably be killed. It is a risk I am willing to take for the betterment of the males of the Human Race.These are the top 10 things you do NOT talk about, bring up, mention, or accidentally talk about to that pretty lady!

  1. Try not to accuse directly or indirectly your girl of looking at or flirting with other men even if you notice her flirting and try to get her attention she knows what’s up and once again your still sleepin’ on the couch!
  2. If you show up for a date and she isn’t ready or you are going out and she isn’t ready, DON’T say anything you fool! Why do you think she is getting all pretty? For you of course unless she is looking for another man while out with you in which case I think you have a problem I can’t help you with my man!
  3. Avoid the whole getting kicked in the balls hurts more then childbirth, even if we are right we lose out either way! Yes it hurts more but take like a man and let her think she has the raw end of the bargain!(it will get you one less kick in fact!)
  4. Don’t ever let her catch you looking or talking to her friends it doesn’t matter if the friend talks to you first you say sorry I am busy, or for a fact you will not be busy for a LONG time!
  5. Sexual innuendos are a guaranteed conversation killer avoid them unless you would rather she never talked to you again or you know she is adventurous
  6. Tease her a little bit, but for heavens sake don’t make fun of her or tease her about the same thing more then twice or you will be sleeping with Fido in the dog house.
  7. Please for the sake of males everywhere talk to a hot girl about your video game ranks, coolest kills, online friends, or new games coming out! 90% of girls think video games are a waste of time let alone interested, she may pretend to be interested but you are boring her, and when she is bored you quickly realize you will be too! If by chance you have a lady who talks to you about video games, then make sure to NEVER lose her number!
  8. When you are out and about together she is thinking, isn’t this sweet and if she sees you looking at another girl thinking “isn’t THAT sweet” it will ruin the moment and you will be very alone for awhile! Keep your eyes to your own girl when you are together!
  9. Do not ever flirt with the waitress or bartender or cashier, your lady friend will instantly notice and be very upset that you are flirting with someone as unimportant and not as attractive as her! This is a serious no no as she is the only apple of your eye!(that she knows about!)
  10. Do not ever let yourself get in a spot where you are in anyway discussing weight or size. This is #1 for a reason, there is no proper answer! She will somehow understand that you are pointing out she is overweight, or worse, you think she is anorexic. This will not result in a night of loneliness or being embarrassed in front of your friends, it will more then likely get your dumped!

As an extra note, do NOT ask a girl for assistance writing an article like this, or they will be angry and it is not pretty!


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