Love the one you’re married to. Be a great example to the child that true love can exist although it didn’t work out previously with his/her mom/dad. When you love their mom or dad, it lets the child know at least I know he/she is good to my mom/dad and when that happens, the child starts to trust you. It takes the average blended five years to gel together, so learn how to take it one day at a time. Get to know the child personally. Have you entered their world? Have you asked them what is going on in their life? Do you know what they like? Have you tried to play any video games with them? Board games as a family? do you know their favorite food, color or television show? As the adult YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT, THE CHILD IS LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH ABONDONMENT. It will be rough because the child is thinking “you’re with my parent, not me.”
Give the child the security that you are not going anywhere and divorce is not an option in the home. So don’t divorce because the child’s biological parent already left them from the previous relationship. Don’t get me wrong, having a blended family is not easy! and sometimes things get tough so are you going to stick and stay or are you going to divorce only to leave a trail of hurt children? Divorce not only affect you, but everyone around you.
Don’t call the child my “step” daughter or son to others because that automatically seperates the two of you when you say that to others. No matter the child age, when introducing them say “This is MY DAUGHTER or SON” Period.
- This will be a challenge depending on the age of the child. They might not call you mom or dad but it’s ok.
- REMEMBER: You don’t know what that child might turn out to be. So take the time to love that child. The one you’re married to will greatly appriciate your sacrifice. Joseph, in the Bible was in a blended family with Mary when he ended up raising the Savior of the world: JESUS.