Is there a recipe of sexual compatibility between two partners? We tried to discover what are the most important things and attitudes that affect the way in which we are perceived by the partner.
The myth of person, whether it’s about a man or a woman, which makes from any sexual experience a memorable experience, has been always present. If you will have the curiosity to ask your friends, you’ll find out that most of them are placed in this category, of those who perceive themselves as being ‘good in bed’.
The idea of sexual compatibility is subjected, outlined according to the needs of the two partners involved in a stable relationship or a short term one, having a sexual active life. The expression ‘good in bed’ is found especially among those who can make a distinction between love and sex.
A person who is good in bed is often defined in relation to its partner and not as an attribute generally available. It is about that sex partner who meets and satisfies your physiological and psychological needs of physical and psychological contact, helping you to get rid of the accumulated sexual tension.
And yet, how can we judge and classify it? The evaluation criteria are various and can differ from individual to individual depending on the individual’s personal experience, gender, identity, personality, education, mentality, etc.
It must be considered the fact that certain things that enjoy a person can not be applied generically to all the people.
How people get to believe that they are ‘talented’ at this chapter?
This fact is in correlation with the self image and the type of reporting to the partner; often, many can have a very good opinion about themselves due to the fact that this opinion can result from self evaluation, the other’s feedback, the self perception.
When you start to love, to invest and to provide pleasure to the other, without neglecting your own pleasure, then the reports and the scale of values change. The man changes, even it’s about a man or a woman.
There are some general attributes, available both for men and women, which indicate a person who have certain sexual skills:
– Emotional intelligence;
– Erotic intelligence;
– Emotional- affective stability;
– An open attitude regarding sexual games and experimentation;
– Love for yourself and for the others;
Besides these characteristics, women and men have different expectations from a partner in order to perceive him as being ‘good in bed’.
The expectations are different and they depend on beliefs, needs, previous experience, and education of each of us. There may be differences between men and women. Women emphasize the prelude, relationship itself and the way in which their partner creates anticipation, communication, support and assistance; men emphasizes more the value of his masculinity, unconditional sex as an expression of love and the confirmation of his masculinity.
What is myth and what is reality?
There are many things we read and start to believe about what means to be ‘good in bed’. For example, it is said that the way in which a person kisses reveals the way in which she will behave in moments of intimacy with a partner. Is it true or false?
This truth is interpretable. It’s not enough for a person to kiss well (subjective issue anyway), it’s needed for him/ her to like it. Some people can focus their entire sexual tension and sensuality in a kiss, ignoring the sexual act.
Another popular idea is that a person who dances well is surely good in bed. This myths can not be verified, it is subjective.
An issue that can be added on the list of generally available things is the way in which we coordinate with the other. Michael Cunningham, doctor in social psychology at the University of Louisville, explained this in an interview: ‘First you should look at the way in which you match when it comes about verbal communication and frequency. If the rhythm in which he talks and his nonverbal behavior is similar to yours, you might be sexual compatible. If one of you is very agitated and fast and the other is very slow, then the ‘rhythm’ between you two will be different. Also, if somebody talks about a certain topic and the other goes to another topic, there are chances of sexual incompatibility.
What’s the secret?
The secret is to wish for you and the other to be happy, satisfied and confident. You may add to these the enthusiasm, passion; the desire to always try new things and to love.
There is no perfect sexual partner for everyone. There is love as a sport, case in which you can discover a person about you can say that he/she is ‘good in bed’ and there is the love with many emotional valences.