How To Protect Yourself on Dating Sites – 2

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You’ve joined a dating site.

You’ve created a Dating User Account on your computer so as to keep that aspect of your life separate from this one.

You’ve created an email account like, and delayed going to Instant Messaging for two weeks…(you really couldn’t hold out for a whole month).

You are really interested in this person.  He seems normal and nice and this is the moment of pause; the moment when you wonder if you are too suspicious, or if things are too good to be true.

These are the warning signs that you might have met a professional scammer;

1) he describes a situation but does not directly  ask you for money

Let me warn you, before you say;  “This is Different”,  it is NOT.  Every scammer will indirectly ask for money.  That is the purpose of the scam. To get money. He is a professional. He knows he can not say; “Send me $2000.” He needs to describe a situation and make YOU offer.

Whether he will tell you he is a volunteer doctor and is raising money for an operation or that he’s about to lose his house, or ….(fill in the blank )….it is a S C A M.

If  he never met you, what would happen?
He was supposed to be alive before you met him. That would mean he was born into a family somewhere.  If he can’t ask them, people he’s known long before you, if he doesn’t have any friends to ask…who is he?

Further; who are you? You could be a 98 year old guy serving ten life sentences, who is pretending to be a 34 year old woman.

He doesn’t know you, how can he ask?
Hence something is wrong with his story.


I don’t care what he says, what proof he gives… scammers live off the ‘take’ they get from women.  They’ve got Maude in Australia sending them money to bail their brother, Anita in London sending them money to pay for little Kwame’s operation, (they claim to be a volunteer in Ghana)  Barbara in New York sending them money to pay for a new computer, and Jo-Ann in California sending them money to start a Cricket Team in Botswana where they claim to be a Peace Corp worker.

Men are just as vulnerable. Many people pretend to be trafficked Russian women, and men are sending them trailer loads of dollars to buy their freedom.

As soon as there is a mention of money; ignore it. He may write or chat a long romantic discourse, then shoves in something about; “I’m so upset for little Kwame needs a new kidney and we just can’t afford it…”

That romantic tirade was just the ‘bread’ around the ‘meat’. Ignore it. Discuss an episode of a television program, your dog’s new trick, anything, but ignore that sentence.  You want to force him to repeat it. You want to force him to directly ASK you for THE MONEY.

Your answer is always; “No.”
Once you have said “No,” you assume that he’d stop corresponding with you.
He is a professional scammer.  
Professional Scammers expect a No the first time.

He will continue to correspond to prove he is not interested in you for your money. He will even apologise for asking; go into more romantic tripe, Then he will make another demand.

The second “No.” Will end the ‘relationship’ which never existed.

The famous ‘Scott Grant’ fraud was run out of a cyber cafe in Nigeria where a couple of scammers pretended to be this white American doctor who was doing volunteer work in some benighted village. The ‘Scott Grant’ s were getting pots of money from American women Many of these women thought themselves engaged to be married to Scott Grant,  sent him airfare. Spent hours at airports waiting for his arrival.

Never Send Money. Not for Anything. Never.


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