The duties of the father of the bride before the wedding
Fixing the marriage of your daughter is a great relief to you as her father.At the same time it is painful too, because your lovely daughter once for all gets separated from your family and migrates to her marital home after her marriage.But it is inevitable and there is no way of escaping from it.
It is generally considered as your obligation and duty as a father to arrange the marriage of your daughter.Though you rear your daughter to the best of your ability according to your family traditions and culture, there are certain extraneous circumstances like education and employment etc, that play a vital role in shaping her outlook on life, marriage etc.In that event sometimes your daughter may fall in love and opt for a love marriage.
However, in most of the cases, girls prefer only arranged marriages.Therefore, your duties as the father of your daughter, vary according to the type of marriage that your daughter chooses or willing.
When your daughter opts for a love marriage, it is your duty to advice her explaining about the pros and cons of a love marriage.If she sticks on in favour of a love marriage, you have to resign to the fact, setting aside all other factors and support her in all possible ways to arrange her love marriage.However, it is your duty to enquire about your daughter’s lover, his character, his family background etc and set aside all other factors like caste, creed and color etc which your daughter has ignored.
It is your duty to extend your moral and material support to your daughter according to your ability and capacity.It is also your duty to convince your wife in favour of the love marriage.You should skillfully deal with the situation to the extent of not getting estranged either from your daughter or from your wife and also win over every tricky situation you come across in the love marriage of your daughter.You should never bother about the criticism of your daughter or your family that you may come across from any quarter, because it is the marital life of your daughter that is at stake and her well being should be your ultimate objective.
If your daughter opts for an arranged marriage, then you are saddled with more responsibility.Once you find a suitable alliance for your daughter according to your liking, if you believe in exchanging horoscopes and finding suitability according to the horoscopes, do it carefully.
Before finally choosing a bridegroom, you should pay one or two visits to the bridegrooms’ house to assess his family background, their tradition, culture etc and it is always good to have a brief conversation with the person, in person, so as to enquire and assess his manners, his details of employment, particulars about his employer etc and it is always good to cross check those details either in person or through a close confident.If
you get any information particularly about his bad character as to his illegal or immoral activities, it is better to drop the alliance proposal than to proceed with.Generally people pick and choose a person even if his character is immoral for he is in a good position and his family is a wealthy family.Such decisions are always risky.You never know what is ailing an immoral person or what kind of decease he is suffering from.Nowadays, in the wake of HIV threat, even among the persons hailing from decent families, persons are tested HIV+.Therefore, if you are very particular in choosing a person from such a family for his other good qualities, it is always adviceable to direct the concerned person to undergo a HIV + test and it has become a fashion nowadays and not considered out of place.
Finally you have picked a person as a bridegroom for your daughter.Then it is your duty to go ahead with the alliance and make your arrangements for the marriage.Before proceeding with, you should have a strong conviction that you will not accede to any demand for dowry from the side of the bridegroom.Have a good planning before arranging the marriage.Prepare a wedding budget according to your ability to mobilise resources.If your budget does not permit betrothel avoid it.
Decide the date and venue of marriage and about the requirements of marriage invitations etc in consultation with the family of the bridegroom.Always share the expenses of marriage equally with them.Arrange for wedding feast and catering service etc in consultation with the family of the bridegroom.
Prepare a budget for your daughters jewelery, wedding clothes, new furniture, vessels etc which you may wish to give her as shridhana’ during her marriage.Always invlove you , your wife and your daughter in all the purchasing activities.On the one hand it gives you personal satisfaction and on the other hand it helps you personally keep on eye on your budget in each and every item of purchase.
While inviting the guests for your daughter’s marriage, invite those persons which you consider most important personally, accompanied by your wife. Be free and relaxed atleast a week before a marriage, because you have other preoccupations and your daughter’s marriage is fast approaching.