Was it my daughter’s fate or i altered her destiny through Determination ?

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Let me share with you an important development in my life which happened a week back. It’s related to the role of Fate and Destiny in influencing our course of life.

Before i narrate the story, its important for us to understand the fundamental difference between Fate and Destiny.

Dr. Stephen A. Diamond, Ph.D. has explained the difference clearly in one of his article “Secrets of Psychotherapy (Part 6) : Fate, Destiny and Responsibility” published in Psychology Today,


Fate , he explains refer to the existential givens of life, those aspects of existence that are immutable, inexorable and inevitable, and over which we can exert little or no control.From an existential perspective, we are “thrown” into life without any choice or responsibility in the matter.

-We are born into a world at a biologically predetermined time, in a particular place, to specific parents, of a certain gender, and with innate strengths, talents, traits, temperament, limitations and vulnerabilities. All this is our fate, the cards we are dealt in life. How can we hold ourselves responsible for fate?

Destiny, he says is what we do with fate, how we play the hand we’re each dealt by fate. Destiny is determined not solely by fate, but by how we choose to respond to fate. We are responsible for those choices.

Part of each person’s fate includes a personal destiny. But whether that destiny is fulfilled or not depends in part on the person and whether he or she is willing to accept responsibility for and courageously pursue that destiny. Finding and fulfilling our destiny is a principal goal of existential depth psychology.

Now with a clear concept of Fate Vs Destiny, pl read this true story and share your opinion :

My elder daughter recently cleared her Xth CBSE with very good marks and both me and my wife were thinking seriously to put her in a better school.

However, the girl was not very keen to shift at this juncture , although she would not have objected decisively – so, little bit confusion about next course of action  even though the idea was vibrating in my mind.

Adding to our woes, when Board declared the result – we were holidaying at our native place and  most of the good schools had already closed first round of admission much before we came back.

Now without any prior registration – mandatory for the schools we have in mind, it was virtually impossible to attempt even and we decided that she would continue in the current school.

Few days before the schools were to reopen after summer vacation,i took a day off and was watching TV in the morning. Suddenly, i don’t know why- picked up the phone and called up the best school in our original list and was instantly connected to the Secretary of Principal,

Coolly, i explained the situation to her. mentioning daughter’s results and  surprisingly she invited me to the school along with my daughter pref within an hour. Confused , i had a quick and favorable  discussion with wife and proceeded immediately.

With no supporting documents in hand – not even the mark sheet  , we met the Secretary To principal and an interview with the principal was arranged immediately. Secretary took out a copy of mark sheet from Board’s website – an unconventional step and soon we were inside Principal’s chamber.

Interview lasted for five minutes and my daughter was cleared for admission subject to completing the formalities by 2 pm next day.

What happened next day is the main subject of this article

1 PM-With all financial resources exhausted due to a long holiday, i was in a fix and with great    difficulties could arrange the cash for paying fees.

1-05 PM – Called up admission coordinator and requested him to accept cash which he denied politely, reminding me  – “if i am not able to complete the formalities by stipulated time, daughter’s admission will get canceled.”

1-15 pm – Rushed out immediately to the nearest bank for making the demand Draft and my driver under pressure broke the traffic signal just a km before and i was detained for completing the  formalities.

1-25 pm – Explained the situation to traffic inspector, who are normally known for adamant attitude and  surprisingly  he allowed me to go without even signing a document – rare incidence, i must say.

1-40 pm – With just 20 minutes in hand i entered the bank to find myself at the tail of a huge Que. For a second i thought -” it’s over” .Then why don’t know , i moved ahead to explain the situation to the girl in the counter and again against all norms she put others in the que on hold and gave me the DD in 10 minutes. None objected !!!

1-50 pm – Running against time ,i rushed out for the school with just 10 minutes in hand with a hope that there would not be a traffic jam and believe me ,it was the best ride of my life – covering 2 km in 2 minutes for reaching the school.

1-55 pm – Standing in front of admission counter holding my breath and at 1- 58 pm the formalities were completed.

2-00 pm – Admission coordinator congratulated me  for making it in the nick of time.

How do you interpret this incidence ? Was it my daughter’s fate or i altered her destiny through hard work. If you ask me, i am tempted to vote for fate butwith due credit to Destiny Management.

Please , share your opinion for a useful brainstorming session on this topic.

Author : Abhijit Kar


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