When I ask men why they cheat on their wives or girlfriends, they have all sorts of responses. Not only do some see it as status quo, they also try to justify it by giving all sorts of ridiculous excuses from “I couldn’t help it” to “it’s allowed”. I come from Africa and these are the questions that come to my mind:
If it is so socially acceptable for a man to do it, why isn’t it the same for a woman? Is society being guided by the myth that women are somehow lesser beings than men? Is it some sort of curse on women from the Garden of Eden? Saying that this is true is as good as saying that all men cheat. This is not true. There are some men out there that do not cheat. And those that do? Here are some reasons they give:
“Because I can”: The man’s simple explanation is that he is allowed to do it. Some social settings equate the value of a man with the number of female conquests he has. A man dating two or three women at once is considered a “real” man. It’s simply allowed. No eyebrows raised, no questions asked. Perhaps the women also make it easy for such men by forgiving them easily.
“She’s in another Country”: Some men see distance as a reason to cheat. After all, she’s out of town and what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.
“All my friends Cheat”: His friends cheat, so why shouldn’t he? He clearly doesn’t want to be left out.
“I needed to fulfil a fantasy”: He has probably had some sort of fantasy about cheating on his wife or girlfriend or a sexual fantasy she didn’t want to go along with. So he’s just living out his fantasy. What’s wrong with that?
“My girl and I don’t talk anymore”: There’s a communication gap that he has not been able to correct with his woman, he goes out and finds someone else to talk to. The “someone else” also happens to have skirts on and one thing leads to another…
“I’m trying to get back at her”: Some men cheat to get back at their wives for some “unforgivable deed”. After all, what could hurt her more?
“I did it to feel young again”: Some men love the thought of still being in the “game”. Chasing a younger woman and having her fall for him is quite an achievement at a particular age. It assures him that he’s still as attractive as he was twenty years ago.
“I was bored”: An idle hand they say is the devil’s workshop. What’s wrong with playing a little game to pass some time?
“I did it for the thrill”: The thrill is in the chase. Men, lovers of conquests, have been known to cheat on their wives or girlfriends for the sheer pleasure of it.
“Yippee! I did something you don’t know about”.
If your man has cheated on you, it’s definitely an indication that something is wrong and it’s important that you know why.
Sit down, talk about it and look for ways to correct the problem, if it can be corrected. I don’t recommend a breakup of the relationship, especially if it was a moment of unconsciousness brought upon him by alcohol or some psychotropic substance.
And this is for the men: If your woman can forgive you, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t! After all, we’re all flesh and blood.