The duties of the father of the groom before a wedding depend upon various factors like where you live, your economic status, your caste, your religion, your culture, your family tradition, your friends and your relatives circle etc. For the sake of convenience the topic is dealt with from the Indian perspective.
If your son, the bridegroom, has opted for a love marriage, your task is much heavier before the wedding.
Sometimes, as parents you may not be willing to approve your son’s proposal for a love marriage, because it is against your family tradition and due to other differences in factors like caste, creed and difference in economic status etc. Your son may simply neglect you and opt for a simple marriage at a temple or at a registered office. In that event, your duties of a traditional father of a groom become much simpler and rather easier, but still it may be painful and hurting you.
Sometimes, in the case of love marriage of your son, your task becomes onerous when your son entrust with you the duties of fixing the marriage by resolving the caste and religious differences amicably with the proposed bride’s parents and you need the caliber of a statesman to deal with the situation rather skillfully and amicably, before fixing the marriage.
If your son opts for a traditional arranged marriage, you are saddled with the responsibilities of seeking a suitable alliance, matching and analyzing the horoscope of your son with the proposed bride, have a series of parleys with the bride’s parents and relatives and finally fix the marriage. In the process you have also to honor the social and moral obligations of eschewing from demanding any dowry from the bride’s parents.
Once the marriage is fixed either through a simple engagement function held at your house or in a marriage hall, what is called betrothal, which is nothing but a rehearsal of the marriage. Thereafter, your duties as a father of the groom before the wedding gain momentum.
First of all it is your duty to prepare a budget for the proposed wedding in consultation with your son, your wife and close relatives, besides consulting the bride’s parents and relatives for the prospective number of invitees for the wedding, before finalizing the date and venue of wedding.
Then you have to fix up the marriage hall for the wedding, before which it is always advisable to have a representative of the bride’s side, so as to hear and accommodate their ideas, views and suggestions. Once the marriage is fixed, then it is your duty to print the marriage invitations and send them to your friends and relatives well in advance before the marriage. When you choose to invite your friends and close relatives in person for your son’s wedding, it is advisable to plan in advance, go and invite them accompanied by your wife and make yourself free, at least a week before the marriage. This is in the interest of your health besides avoiding a tense situation and unnecessary and unwarranted comments from your friends and close relatives and last minute disappointments.
Purchasing new clothes for your family members and relatives and for the groom as well is your next urgent priority. Arranging the catering service and the menus to be served at the wedding should be decided carefully in consultation with your son, the bridegroom, as well as the parents of the bride.
Above all as the father of the bridegroom, before the wedding, you have got to be an all rounder, totally involve yourself and have overall and general supervision of everything that happens before the wedding and make it a grand success.