I belong to an interracial family. First of my mom married 2 men from different nationalities, a Chinese (who is my dad) and the recent Japanese husband, so I can say I am well diverse about the nature of an interracial relationship. I am involved in an interracial relationship as well with a Caucasian mate and had dated with different nationalities.
There are increasing numbers of Asian women going for a Caucasian husband for varieties of reasons. It could be an adventure, sex, money, beauty or even emotions as some Caucasian husband makes better husbands and providers.
My mother just recently got divorced with my Japanese ex-step father leaving her with two kids and the break-up was not a good one. I have a very close friend who is married with a Japanese guy and they are still very happy and intact. I also have a friend who is happily married to an American husband. I have an aunt who got divorced with a British husband. What are the differences that measures if a mixed-race marriage or relationship be successful or a failure? Here are some great points:
- Respect– any relationship no matter what races you belong deserves respecting one another. There are cultural differences that may affect the relationship but important is accepting these differences and not to demand immediate change.
- Communication – to bridge the gap and differences, the couple needs to learn an effective way to communicate that is honest, not arguing, gentle, understanding, not offensive and defensive way of communicating how we feel. We need to open up with our partners what we like and do not like in a manner agreeable to both. If you nag or howl it can make your life hell. But it doesn’t mean it’s one way, both of you should agree to learn each other’s culture and language and get familiar with it to understand and appreciate more of each other.
- Co-dependency– Leave something for yourself. I know when you love you can give the whole world for him or her but you should put a limit because too much of everything can be harmful for you and the relationship. Don’t forget you were separate, attractive single individuals that became 1 through the union of the relationship. These means that even if you are 1 you still have different ways in life so get a life of your own while being together because if you reach the part that you are both co-dependent you would lose yourself and end up grabbing for the power on who’s better and who’s not.
- Commitment and Intimacy– if you make this right your relationship is very fruitful. If you have the sense of intimacy and commitment you can eliminate the unfamiliar worries and fears of being in an interracial relationship. If you are committed, you are eager to learn more about her/him and make the relationship work. Being in an interracial relationship is not about who’s in power so be sure your partner understand about you by being committed of letting her /him know about your background. Again, too much of everything is bad enough so just give what you can give but don’t over give what you can’t afford to lose.
The success of interracial relationship depends on you to make the right choices. It’s a matter of choice if you want to belong in an interracial relationship and it’s a choice as well to make it work. Be sure that you have the same mission with your partner.