I had a chance to read Steve Harvey’s book back in February, when it first came out. I passed on it at the time, believing it to be just more crappy dating advice that you could never REALLY use. Since February, I had the opportunity to watch Mr. Harvey on “Oprah” and read an excerpt from the book that was printed in a magazine. And I noticed that the book was consistently no. 1 on The New York Times Best Seller List. I admit that only then did I decide to take a gander at it, still thinking it was going to be crappy and I’d have to put it down halfway through or even before (The local library had this, so I put a reserve on it, and was amazed when told it would be SEVERAL MONTHS before it would be available!).
Well, I read it. And I was wrong; “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” (The sub-title is “What Men ReallyThink About Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Commitment“) is one of the few and BEST relationship genre books I’ve ever read.
The first surprise here is that it’s not the size of “War and Peace“. It’s only about 240 pages, very simple and easy to read (And there IS a co-author, Denene Millner). For such a little book, it packs a lot of wallop. It’s basically aimed at women, and any woman in the world will be able to use the information here. Now I’m not saying that guys can’t read it too, but I honestly think a lot of men will NOT like this book (and I honestly think a lot of men just don’t like to read, unless it’s Playboy or something similar, about sports or cars. And even then…)
Harvey really gives you a much-need insight into how the male mind works, how it functions and what drives it. I grew up with four brothers and still learned some new insights!
There are three main sections: Part 1 is “The Mind-Set of a Man“, Part 2 is “Why Men Do What They Do”, and Part 3’s called “The Playbook-How to Win The Game“. Part 1 gives you the biological makeup of a man’s mind; and it IS totally different from the way most women think. According to Harvey, there are three crucial things a man will do when he loves you and just three things a man needs from you (Many of you can probably figure out at least one, but the other two may be a surprise!). Among other topics, Part 2 also covers cheating in all its aspects. In light of current and recent events in the news, many wives would greatly benefit from this section alone. Read through this carefully, take notes if you must, and then memorize it (Seriously).
Part 3 provides you with remedies and preventive strategies. This will be the hardest part for many women to do, for many already in relationships, good, bad or indifferent, will be most reluctant to ‘upset the apple cart.’ It’s very soul-searching and WILL cause you to re-evaluate your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. For example, two of the sections here are “Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets In Too Deep” and “The Ninety-Day Rule.” Harvey even admits that some of these will be hard to do, BUT if you hang tough and stick to it, you will end up with the relationship you SHOULD have and truly DESERVE.
Aren’t you worth it? Well then!
Now here are some of my personal thoughts and observations:
I believe that for those of you who want to attract a well-to-do, upper-class, or even wealthy man, it helps tremendously if you go out and make some money yourself, or at least are striving to make your own (Sometimes you can get more help if you’re helping yourself).
We tend to attract mirror images of ourselves, regardless of color.
On a first date go out for coffee or lunch.
I would personally feel more secure in a marriage (or relationship) if I have my own money and have developed my own skills-education and business-wise. And regardless of being married, in a couple, or single, I would want this anyway. Heck, I LOVE being secure!
My idea of a suitable mate (for the most part): Must be compatible with me and share most of the same interests. If I mention something in those interests, I’d like the guy to at least know or be aware of what I’m talking about.
Please be in excellent health and disease-free (no drug addicts, alcoholics, or STD holders-because I’m none of those! Now if you’re blind, in a wheelchair, or had an accident, I’ll understand and won’t mind at all.)
I would prefer childless, but would still consider a guy with kids. This WILL depend on the circumstances; if the guy’s one of those who have sired at least fifty different kids from the Eastern seaboard to the California coast…with at least fifty different women, I’ll have to pass.
I know economic times are hard right now, but if you’re not or are no longer gainfully employed, please be involved in something constructive (volunteer work, school, setting up your own business-not drug trafficking or transporting prostitutes).
Have a good sense of humor (but don’t be silly). I think also having a similar sense of humor helps here; If you don’t find certain things funny at all (like tacky sex jokes ), and he does, that may not be a good thing.
Must have a brain and be capable of coherent thought and speech.
Must have strong morals and values (no criminals, no sluts. Yes, there are male sluts!).
Your weight should be proportionate to height, and it wouldn’t hurt to have some looks (No fat or super skinny; don’t have to be handsome, but at least pleasant-looking). You’re probably thinking “She’s so shallow.” It all depends on your perspective. I’m just being honest about what I’m drawn and attracted to (and I can always make adjustments-or change my mind!). I know there’s a place and purpose for all God’s creatures, great and small (most of them anyway), but life is just more bearable in the dating/relationship world if you know or have a pretty good idea which of God’s creatures (the two-legged human variety) you’re best placed with.
If you’ve decided to just forego any relationships for a while, or are recovering from a bad one, here are a few benefits of being single:
You don’t have to be nice to anybody’s mother but your own. And your mother can spend the weekend with no problem.
You can vacuum and clean whenever you feel like it-or not at all. You don’t have to clean the bathroom every time you use it. And you never have to wait to use it.
You can have breakfast, lunch AND dinner all at the same time. And eat any weird combination you want.
You can wear what you want, without anyone “lipping off” about it (except your mother). You can splurge on something outrageous, then eat peanut jelly and jelly sandwiches for dinner the rest of the week.
You can leave on all the lights when you get up in the middle of the night-or use the night night!
You have more time to actually finish reading books. And to focus on courses you may wish to take.
You can spend all day with your friends or working on your projects.
You can play the same song over and over again, or your favorite groups or singers without being criticized for your lack of or bad taste.
You can keep everything where it’s easiest for you to reach it, use it, pet it, eat it, look at it, and store it.
You can go to a museum, fair, etc. and spend the entire day there.
You can decorate your home or apartment with your favorite posters and your favorite colors without anyone making a fuss.
You can wear as much or as little makeup as you want. Or look like a total bum!
You can decide on Friday to go away for the weekend.
No one opens your mail “by mistake.” Or monitors your phone calls.
It doesn’t matter which way the toilet paper goes on the roll.