Boyfriend wants to take a break

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The ‘boyfriend wants to take a break’, problem isn’t all that unusual and there are 3 possibilities here:

1. He doesn’t know what  he wants
2. He wants to play the field
3. Your boyfriend feels trapped in the relationship

How to find out: Which one is the reason your man wants to take a break:

Everyone talks to someone, it’s hard to keep the truth bottled up inside. Boyfriends tend to share their relationship issues, with one of their mates. Usually the friend in whom they have the most trust.

Now, you can’t directly confront this person and ask them: “Why does my boyfriend want to take a break?” Telling you would compromise the trust your boyfriend placed in them. Instead ask them to have a cup of coffee with you. Then request some “relationship advice”, share your thoughts, see whether they recommend you move on or not.

Also whatch your boyfriend, for more information on what he is thinking. If he starts dating other people, he will not be able to hide it from you or your mutual friends.

After some time has passed, you could consider sitting down with him and asking him to explain his reasons to you.

How to deal with each of the three possible scenarios

Before you act decide whether you are really committed to him. Do you love him? Are you willing to fight for your love?

1. He doesn’t know what he wants
People need to understand that love is a bit like a drug. Sometimes you need to pull back, clear your mind and take stock of the decisions, which you are making.

I recommend you don’t call him for 1 week. Then start communicating with him again. This should give him enough time to work through everything, in his head. If he doesn’t make up his mind, in 4 weeks time, then you have 2 options: leave him or push him to commit to you.

2. Your boyfriend wants to date other people
This is a problimatic one, because you can’t force someone to be with you. Your boyfriend might get out there and remember just why he was with you in the first place. If, he is worth it and that is a big if, go with a pull approach rather than a push approach. With that I mean act in a way that reminds your boyfriend, just how great you are. Do everything that a perfect girlfriend does. Don’t nag, threaten or get overly emotional.

3. Your boyfriend feels trapped in the relationship
Sometimes a guy will look at his life and his relationships and see his future cast in iron. He sees you getting married, getting a house with a white picket fence, 2 kids, growing old  and then dying. In that moment it is like looking at a car crash in slow motion, you can see what’s going to happen, but you are unable to stop it. Something like a panic attack.

If this is the cause for your boyfriend wanting space, the good news is it isn’t personal. He has commitment issues and he will have them no matter who is seeing. Some guys who have these issues bounce from one girl to the next, without being able to commit to any of them.

This isn’t healthy, but all you can do is to work on the trust between you and not press him too hard.

Whichever is the cause of your: ‘My boyfriend wants to take a break’ problems, if you keep your wits about you  and approach the situation in a careful and thoughtful manner. Then there is a good possibility that you can patch things back together again.

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