While there may be others, five primary reasons account for why most single people do not date. The three big ones are the break up of a long-term relationship, divorce, and death. Another one that mops up most of the remaining non-daters would be a schedule whether work or school that removes the opportunity for dating until various obligations can be met. The last of the five is simply a decision to not date based on personal reasons that frequently come after a long string of unsatisfying and frustrating dates.
A time usually comes when dating needs to be considered.
Regardless of you have not been on the dating market, there may come a time when the dating option needs to be considered. The decision to begin dating needs to be based on sound reasons. Dating is a scary operation for most adults once they have been removed from it for an extended period of time. For those who are dating after having a long standing partner, dating before the issues that may remain from the former relationship are resolved can quickly become an exercise in futility. Some thoughtful guidelines need to be considered before jumping into dating in a big way.
Are you still healing from the pain or anger of a former relationship or marriage?
Many people will quote the old adage about getting back on the horse after you have fallen off as a reason to resume dating sooner than later. However, your dates deserve more than to give you an opportunity to compare them to previous partners during what could become an excruciatingly long evening. In many cases, this comparison will amount to finding ways to use your former pain to treat your date poorly. Realistically, it is rare that you would be ready to date again in less than 6 months or a year after the end of a multiple year relationship.
Do not date until you can date for upright reasons.
Being lonely by itself is not a good reason to date. In fact, loneliness may be an indicator that you are still attached emotionally to your former partner. Looking for someone to provide additional money to your budget will not be a wise reason to go shopping for a new relationship if you want it to last. Things like needing a maid, cook, mechanic, or handyman also need to be discarded as reasons to step back into dating. This list could get lengthy, but the pattern of bad reasons to date should be somewhat apparent.
Avoid dating until you feel that you could make it if you had to live alone from now on.
Feeling the need that you have to have a partner in life to be happy will guarantee the development of some type of codependent unhealthy relationship. You want to date when you are looking to form the union of two individuals who can pool their talents and resources to build something great together. This cannot happen unless you believe that you are capable of building your half by yourself. Expecting another person to solve all of the problems and fix your life is too much stress for most relationships to handle.
You are ready to date again if you have regained the ability to make good choices and rebuilt strong self-confidence.
Dating requires that a person be able to know when to say yes and when to say no. If you find yourself rejecting opportunities because you feel guilty if you say yes, you are not ready to date. On the other side, you may find that it is very hard for you to say no because you are afraid of losing something that you want to keep. If this is the case, you really should not be dating. Beginning to date at this point is a strictly adult activity. If you are not prepared to make adult-level choices, avoid seeking or accepting dates for a while longer.
Remember that there is nothing wrong with being alone if you are happy.
It is best not to allow others to force you back to dating if you believe that you need more time. It is your life that is being tinkered with and not theirs. Just be direct with pushy friends if you are not ready to date and tell them to stop being so helpful. Good friends will understand. You want to begin dating when it can be fun. If a relationship comes from it, you should just consider it a bonus and not a goal of dating.