Farts. Are they hazardous to your health?

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Well according to Waldo J. Poot, a professor of anatomy at U.C.L.A. They have proven to be extremely hazardous in more ways than one. It seems that not only do they provide an explosive atmosphere there is also danger of Acute Suffocation.

During a five year study Professor Poot stated that there have been over 2,600 explosions, a total of 340 fatalities, and nearly 7,500 injuries in the United States constituted to farts alone with another 135 victims succumbing in there bedrooms from suffocation. Professor Poot also said that over 90% of the population is unaware of the seriousness of this matter. If there were only some way of getting across to them, he continued, getting them to understand, to relalize that not only are they endangering themselves but thye are also endangering the lives of everyone around them, to make a long story short their endangering the whole damn world.

He went on to say that not all farts are dangerous and that only a small percentage are considered to be life threatening, however it is this “small percentage” that continue to explode with all the intensity of nitro-glcerin when confined to a small area, it’s this “small percentage” which release not only highly explosive gases but toxic gases as well that continue to take such a staggering toll, and so there you have it. It’s up to you to decide whether or not to let’s say unleash that next fart, but please take my advice if you decide to do so then let it off in a well ventilated area or face the risk of being blown to kingdom come.

Professor Waldo J. Poot, U.C.L.A.

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