Have you ever asked yourself: Does true love exist? Is the notion of soul mates real? Have you ever found yourself asking a couple who has been married for many years, “What’s your secret?” If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re not alone. Since time immemorial, we have been trying to unravel the mystery of love and long-lasting relationships.
Hayden Dane, a pseudonym for a regular guy who has tried to learn from his relationship mistakes, believes he has the answer: Admiration.
In his new direct-to-download book entitled “I Have One Question,” Dane makes a convincing case that true love lies in one partner admiring in the other what he/she admires about himself/herself, and vice versa.
Says Dane, “What a man (or woman) admires in himself (or herself) forms his identity; his essence. These elements combine to form the person he believes he is and wishes others to see. Consequently, he is least likely to compromise on these elements; least likely to change them. If his partner can’t admire these elements, and vice versa, their relationship will be tension-filled and won’t be likely to endure.”
“I Have One Question” describes a conversation to be had between couples or those looking to be couples that will elicit the elements each admires in himself/herself. Dane observes that most people haven’t thought in terms of admiration, so simply asking your partner, “What do you admire about yourself,” isn’t likely to yield helpful information. To overcome this limitation, Dane walks readers through the conversation to have, using himself as an example. Upon finishing the book, the reader should be able to have a comfortable and productive conversation with their spouse, significant other, or prospective partner and be able to properly interpret the answers received in order for each to reliably conclude on their long-term compatibility as a couple.
Dane’s motives are not purely altruistic, however. It turns out that Mr. Dane is looking for his soul mate, and his book is a helpful (and clever) way of introducing himself to eligible women. By using himself as an example for the conversation, Mr. Dane is able to share with readers what it is he admires about himself. “Perhaps one of my single, female readers will conclude that she admires me for the things I admire about myself, and we’ll have a conversation and I’ll find that I admire her for what she admires about herself. That would make for a very promising match,” says Dane. “If that doesn’t happen, at least I will have helped a lot of others in their search for true love and a lifelong relationship.”
Not one to dismiss the importance of physical chemistry and other traditional elements of compatibility, Dane agrees that they should be present for a fulfilling relationship, but contends that if they are present without the mutual admiration he describes in his book, the relationship will be tenuous. Dane points to the high divorce rate as proof, suggesting that if one were to explore many of the relationships, you would find that traditional measures of compatibility existed but mutual admiration did not.
“I Have One Question” is available for purchase and download at www.haydendane.com