I spent an afternoon in a hospital with a friend recently where the top half of the room’s window was glazed and our vision was limited to the legs of the passers-by. It was interesting seeing only “half the person” and trying to recreate the rest of them. It made me wonder how little we know about people, despite seeing them – do we only know half their story?
Getting to know people involves a relationship of sorts. It’s so often said that you are your thoughts and your beliefs – but also – I suggest you are what you’re feeling from your relationships.
Most of your learning comes from experiences and most of your experiences somehow involve people.
And when you’re involved with people you have a relationship.
How do you personally know that relationships affect you?
Although many things appear to go smoothly in any particular day –if you’ve had a fight with your spouse or partner, nothing seems to feel right, does it?
Many clients express their relationships as a habit. And this includes friendships.
How often do you do what is expected, what you feel obligated and think is necessary? What role do you ‘play’ in your various relationships?
Sometimes relationships take on identities of their own – and clients become attached to the “marriage” or “partnership” or “friendship” – and that status becomes the third element in a relationship.
I’ve had clients express feeling hurt and manipulated by people leaving them wondering what’s wrong with them. The truth is that all types of relationships bring with them feelings – joy, happiness, love, excitement, anger, frustration or disappointment. I’m sure you can add your own.
So if you fear creating experiences and experiencing relationships – you’re limiting your learning, your growth and you becoming “more”.
Despite the fact that creating anything takes effort, there is truth in the old adage that quality is better than quantity. Isn’t it a waste to skim around the edges of others’ lives – as well as around your own life?
The empty result of ‘skimming” through your relationships is a feeling of “what’s happened to me?”
If you mix with sufficient people that challenge, motivate, inspire and/or encourage you – you’ll feel different. They don’t need to agree with you (and possibly won’t!) but they’ll “get you” and what you’re about. So try and understand this for yourself first.
Relationships formed with people that are positive and creative, push you to look at your own boundaries and allow a person to grow. Go outside of your box and you may be surprised at what you are able to accomplish!
So – at what level does your inner self want to communicate and connect with others?
And what is it that she/he really wants to talk about?
You’d need to listen to find out. So perhaps it’s a good idea to skip dancing around each other (and your own life) and connect on a real, honest level? Acknowledge the people who matter in your life. And this includes you. Connect fully with them. And once again, this includes you.
Get the full picture. Understand the full story.
And see your life change. And feel yourself grow.
It’s well worth getting the full picture of your life and relationships.
And then you’ll be able to stay in them all. Happily.
I, Heidi Cornelissen believe in people. And their ability to become real and true to themselves. I spent fifteen years in the Business world after completing a B Comm (Accounting) and a Masters of Business Administration (MBA). I’m able to have a balanced outlook now as the business owner of Completely Human. I’m a certified Life Coach, and have studied at the Personal Training Academy. I’m a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and also hold the position of Treasurer of the James Crofts Hope Foundation in Perth. Completely Human is about being well and having balance – this involves taking the time out to question and challenge your own assumptions, to focus on working out what your own life is really about – rather than what you or others think it should be. Although all areas of your life appear to intrude on and provide frustration, it is easier once you divide your life into distinct areas. Completely Human allows you to be specific about changes you wish to make and formulate action plans. Things can start to make a lot of sense!
Visit http://www.completelyhuman.com to see what options are available to YOU.