Dealing with Betrayal – Friendship

Betrayal is a part of life and few of us are lucky enough to make it through life unaffected by it. Betrayal by a trusted friend is a deeply painful experience. It is hard to imagine what a friend might possibly gain by stabbing you in the back. Some friends might make things up in an attempt to ruin your reputation. There are those who betray a confidence and reveal a secret to subject you to rumors and gossip. The pain of such an experience can be overwhelming. Learning how to deal with such an experience is an important part of moving on. And how you choose to deal with it will determine the difference between you and the friend who did you wrong.

  1. Evaluate whether or not the friendship is salvageable. If it is, you will need to think carefully about how you want to approach the matter. If the friendship is beyond repair, confront the guilty party head on.
  2. Make sure you have all the information before confronting your friend with an angry tirade only to learn that you heard incorrectly.
  3. Wait until you are calm and can face the backstabbing friend without your emotions getting the best of you. Flying off the handle will only embarrass you later.
  4. Let your friend know that you are aware of what they’ve said or done and that you’re looking for some sort of explanation. Do not allow yourself to be pulled into an argument if your friend goes on the defensive. Simply state your piece and walk away.
  5. Do not resort to the same tactics used to hurt you. No matter how tempting it is to get revenge on someone who has hurt you, resist the urge. Stooping to their level only makes you just as bad.
  6. Listen to what your friend has to say and allow them the opportunity to apologize to you. From there you can decide whether or not the friendship is worth saving.
  7. Don’t trust too much too soon. Keep personal matters private until you are sure you can trust someone.
  8. Keep the experience in the back of your mind when you hear someone else being gossiped about.

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