Domestic Violence is happening in our own backyards

Domestic Violence is happening in our own backyards

Little Rock, Ark- A door is getting kicked in, a woman is getting brutally beaten by her husband or boyfriend and there are loud screams crying out for “help”, but no one answers to the desperate cries. This happens everyday in America, it hits so close to home for many American women that it is happening in our own backyards.

I didn’t have to go out and interview a victim of domestic violence to know how it feels to be tortured, punched, or kicked. I’m in on-hand victim to domestic violence.  It was May 28, 2008, I was eight months pregnant with twins, I was kicked in the buttocks repeatedly, and then my life flashed before my eyes when I saw my husband full of rage with a .40-caliber automatic pointing at me.

According to the FBI, a woman is abused every 12 seconds in the United States, 35 percent of emergency room calls are from domestic violence and 65 percent of men who abuse their partner also are physically or sexually abusive to the children.

According to Arkansas Coalition against Domestic Violence, a coalition in Central Arkansas that was started in 1981 to make victims and the communities aware of domestic violence listed that in 2008, 31 confirmed female murders were related to domestic violence in Arkansas.  So Arkansans do you still think it is not happening in your own backyard? It doesn’t matter what occupation you have, what your social status is, your level of income, or what race you are. According to Domestic Violence Victimization, domestic violence happens to all types of women regardless of income, age, race, education, or belief system.

Domestic violence hurts; it is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States, according to the U.S. Surgeon General. Everyday four women die from abuse and three children die from the same result “abuse.”

I spent nine days in the hospital as a result to domestic violence. I went into premature labor and had several noticeable bruises. I had never been abused before until this marriage, my father was never abusive towards me. My husband pleaded no contest with the judge and they gave him five years extended probation and I stayed with him.

According to ACADV, women stay in abusive relationships due to fear of the batterer’s violence, immobilization by psychological or physical trauma, connection to the perpetrator through children, belief in cultural, family, or religious values, continual hope and belief that the violence will end or he will change, belief batterer will commit suicide or engage in self-destructive behavior, lack of funds and lack of real alternatives for employment and financial assistance. My reason for staying was the belief that he would change and be a father and husband to me and my children, but that has not happen.

Domestic violence has no face or no particular target, it can happen to anyone. It could be the daughter of a Marine, a doctor, a coal-miner, a firefighter, or a pastor. It does not matter. All that matters is that this cycle of violence needs to stop.

I was a daughter of a Marine and a victim to domestic violence. This is a crime that needs severe intervention, because it is a contributing factor to other problems including child abuse, neglect, drug and alcohol abuse, emotional problems, job-loss, homelessness, and attempted suicide, according to Domestic Violence Victimization.

According to, a website that is dedicated to domestic violence, a batterer has characteristics often of low self-esteem, rushing into relationships, is excessively jealous, exhibits controlling behavior, and has unrealistic expectations or demands.

I’m finally getting a divorced after numerous accounts of abuse. According to the Bureau of Justice, one to three million women will be a victim to domestic violence each year in America.

In 2001, Arkansas ranked seventh in the nation for domestic violence and first in the nation for domestic violence against African American women, according to ACADV.

If you or anyone thinks that domestic violence can’t happen to you, in your own backyard; you are wrong!  I didn’t think that I would ever be abused but it happened to me. I was a victim to domestic violence and you could be to if you are not aware, informed, or educated. Break the cycle, end domestic violence in Arkansas and around our beautiful nation that was build by our forefathers and pioneers.

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