My friend, captured something that I said on a teleconference call with him recently. I shared with him a discovery that I made several years ago. It identifies and defines our self-image or self-perspective. It is worth repeating so that you can choose to be healthy and powerful when you are evaluating yourself.
First, ‘self-worth’ is something that never changes. You are worth what you are worth. You, nor anyone else can ever change that. The assets of experience, natural and acquired giftings, intelligence, personal charisma, potential, strengths, heart, compassion, passion, focus, drive, personality, etc., determine your self-worth.
When you were conceived, there was at least a ten million to one chance that it would happen. There were millions of seeds (sperm) vying to fertilize one egg. There was one winner. That winner was YOU. Had any other ‘seed’ fertilize the egg, YOU wouldn’t be here right now. YOU would have simply been one of the others that died off before you ever got started.
Thus, science proves that YOUR LIFE IS A MIRACLE!
I’ve seen people attempt to discount this FACT, but to no avail. This is a statement of FACT. Not religion. Not even belief. It is FACT! (Consequently, I believe that this FACT is planted deep in the subconscious mind and is why lotteries and casinos are so successful. Intuitively and subconsciously, we KNOW that we overcame amazing odds to be conceived. Thus, we innately feel that we can do it again. Yes, I seriously believe this.)
These assets are immutable. You can’t lose them. They are always there even when you do not acknowledge them. Thus, you can never lose your ‘self-worth.’
Second, self-esteem. Your self-esteem is quite simply your ‘vote’ on your self-worth. It is an appraisal of what you believe about your self-worth.
Your self-esteem is developed based solely on your self talk. Many have argued that it is also based upon your experiences of life. It is not. Your experiences, good and bad, affect your self talk. You can have a bad experience and it can prove to ultimately be a very positive thing that has happened for you.
Self-esteem is also your comparative assessment of how you measure up in this world. You compare yourself with someone else who you ‘esteem’ as valuable and you make a judgment regarding yourself.
Truth: Self-worth cannot change. It is what it is. Self-esteem is changing all of the time.
Self-image is ‘how we perceive that others perceive us.’ We think more about how we believe others ‘see us’ than we do about how we see ourselves. Thus, what we believe that others think about us, we start believing about ourselves. I could go into depth as to why I think that we do this, but I will save that for another article.
We step out of our own minds and into the minds of others and attempt to determine who they view us and what their evaluation is regarding us. The truth is, this is impossible to do. First, most people do not have a neatly defined specific opinion of us. Second, I sincerely doubt that people think about us as much as would might think. Most people are too busy dealing with their own inner conflict and complexities to think about anyone other than themselves.
There are other ‘self’ issues that I will deal with in future writings.