Being Holy?

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What does it mean to be a holy person?

Does it mean that you shut yourself out from the outside world and live your life in a corner of a room… not wanting to even take a look out of the window, afraid that you would fall into temptation and sin?

To just be satisfied with what u have, not striving to be better because… “i am already holy enough, why should I try so hard to improve?”

I don’t know what I have against all these… I watch how people live their lives, I listen to the conversations they have… I feel that sometimes, somehow, it just tends to be so fake… I have come to realize that people who I truly admire are the ones that you call ’sinners’… I do not admire them for the things that they do and the mistakes that they make… but I admire them for the courage that they have in facing life…. to face the fact that they are weak, that they make huge mistakes and that they are far from perfect. Only when you are courageous enough to face your broken, scarred, far-from-perfect self, you are able to love yourself… and that will drive you to be a better person.

I feel that you are just so far from what you say you are… a shelter for the weak, the poor, the lost…. I just have so many questions on my mind…. and it’s draining my faith in God… I see you as a place where only people of your standards are accepted… i dont feel accepted, i dont feel like I belong there… I see myself as a sinner only surviving because of the grace of God… I dont want to be contained in your world… i want to live my life, to live my dreams, to live it full… I want to make mistakes… I want to fall… I want to cry… I want to experience every emotion that a human being was made to feel… I want to step out into the world… I want to make friends of different beliefs… I want to learn to be accepting, to help, to love, to care, to share… I dont want to shut myself out… I want to be THERE, looking the world in the eye and having no fear of it…

I want my life to be REAL…

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