The Hemorrhoid

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A Hemorrhoid in the context I’m using is basically any person who doesn’t have any purpose except for being a pain in the back side.

Hemorrhoids come in many different forms. It can be a significant other who has gone well beyond their prime and has nothing else left to offer except nagging. It can also be the following…


Many guys will term a certain type of girl a hemorrhoid. It’s usually the type of girl they find unattractive but yet make the mistake of be friending anyway. After a while the guy finds that she’s more of a problem than she’s worth. She’ll sometimes whine and complain more than a real girlfriend, and at least a hot girlfriend has the plus sides. All a hemorrhoid has is plus sizes!

Whether you’re a guy or a girl it doesn’t matter. If you have a hemorrhoid for a friend you might as well remain single forever. A hemorrhoid can’t have you, but the hemorrhoid doesn’t want anyone else to have you. If a girl is friends with a hemorrhoid, her hemorrhoid friend will do all she can to keep you from staying in a good relationship. The hemorrhoid doesn’t want a guy coming along and taking away from her time with you. She will give you all kinds of reasons why the man you picked is wrong and will even twist things the guy said. From a guy’s point of view, it’s very difficult to get with a nice girl if she has a hemorrhoid for a friend.


For guys a hemorrhoid is very similar. He befriends her and in many cases this girl has a crush on you. She knows she can’t have you but for some reason seems to think that by making sure you can’t have anyone else, you’ll someday decide to take her. A hemorrhoid is very sneaky. She’ll do all kinds of things to shoot you in the foot and tries very hard to make it look accidental or innocent! Whenever a cute girl comes around, one way or another, the hemorrhoid will screw things up for you. The hemorrhoid is never happy so therefore doesn’t want you to be happy either.

Has anyone ever met somebody like this?


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