In any relationship, may it be friendship, love, or business, trust is easily the glue that holds that relationship together. Without trust, whatever relationship you worked hard in building would crumble easily. Thus, it is imperative for anyone involved in a relationship to understand that maintaining and fortifying trust between parties is the key for that particular partnership to grow and become successful.
Ask anybody who’s been in a failed relationship. Ninety percent of the time, the lack of trust is or is one of the reasons for the failure. Because when there is no mutual trust, motives become jaded and perceptions get murky. Other than this, there is that air or apprehension and constant doubt that puts both parties in a very uncomfortable corner.
But of course, trust is hard to give and hard to get. You cannot imagine yourself trusting someone right after the initial encounter. More so, you cannot find yourself wanting to trust someone after being hurt in a past relationship. These are all reasonable concerns.
While it is true that you cannot trust someone after being betrayed, you can learn to get yourself to trust again, but wiser this time. Here are some tips to show you how:
Accept and trust yourself
Being in a past relationship that caused you to distrust others oftentimes is the initiating point for a negative pattern. That being said, if you want to begin to learn to trust again, you must also learn to let go of what had happened before. More importantly, you need to forgive those that hurt you. And forgive yourself too. There is no better way to do this than to admit mistakes and to accept yourself as you are.
Trust yourself first. After all, learning to trust others begins by learning to trust yourself.
The world around us is but a magnified version of ourselves. By looking at it in a positive life, we attract positive experiences as well.
Learn to let go
This is not a walk in the park. Indeed, letting go of the past and of your mistakes is a trying and difficult time. But once you make the effort to step out of the past, you are also making a conscious decision of stepping out of your doubtful and suspicious ways.
Why is letting go so important? Well, this is the one step that counters the seemingly small arguments that erupt into major ones. The kind of arguments that start with a glimmer of doubt you have about your spouse or partner’s activities and motives; the kind of arguments that are rooted on a seemingly similar situation with a past relationship.
For starters, you need to know how to turn down your suspicion levels. Take it easy. When something bothers you, don’t run into the offensive with blazing guns. Instead, talk it over with the concerned person with calm and objectivity. Never keep tabs about anything. If your partner wronged you once and it has already been worked out ever since, don’t bring it up. Instead, work on strengthening your relationship for a long future ahead.
And of course, it is important to stress that relationships won’t work if the one party is trying to take advantage of the other’s trust. And if you do find yourself in a situation such as this, there’s no other way but out. Leave the relationship. Any person who does not value and respect the trust you give them does not deserve you.
The bottomline, then, is that relationships work if and only when both parties commit to trust one another. Once this trust is built, you are sure to share the best times of your life with that one person. Learn when to doubt and when to trust. When you find this balance, you’ll be surprised to know that true happiness and satisfaction does exist.