7 tips to Overcoming your anger
“Whom do you imagine to be strong?” asked Prophet Mohammad, “He who throws his enemy down,”replied the disciple. “Nay,” said the Prophet, “it is he who masters his anger!”
Lobh (greed),Krodh ( anger) and Ahankar ( ego),have been described as the gateways to hell in the Gita! “Master your anger”, said Zoraster “and you will be loved by Him and His beings!”
Despite all religions, imploring us to shun anger, we find ourselves bursting into it, ever so often! In our homes, with our spouse, kids, servants, in our offices, roads, even in places of worship! We come out of the church peaceful and serene only to find someone has wrongly parked his car in front of ours and we burst into choicest of abuses! So much for anger control!
Anger has acquired epidemic proportions these days and has even caught our young children!
How then do we defeat this Demon of rage?
Swami Buddhananda says,
- Firstly, consider anger as your prime enemy and know that it is a learned behavior and not something you are born with! So you can “Unlearn” the habit as well. Each time you control yourself, you get a little stronger to fight the anger within you and each time you give in; you are encouraging it.
- Secondly, tell yourself repeatedly that that there is no justifiable anger. Most people live in this illusion that “my anger was justified” or “He/She provoked me to get angry”. Anger cannot be just or righteous. Anger is nothing but an emotion got out-of-hand!
- Thirdly, know that anger is of no use to you or the receiver of it! Anger will NOT change anyone’s behavior (including your child’s), it will not change any situations, not get your work done faster or better !
- Finally bear in mind that your anger will definitely come back to you in a harsher, stronger way, eventually .
That doesn’t mean you will not discipline your kid, or your employee? Definitely Not! It means you will, but without the accompanying malice (that is so much a part of our anger!), you may raise your voice but not breed hatred inside. Just like, in a play the characters get angry on stage and do such a great job of it; without really being mad at their co-star in reality!
- After your outburst of anger, you will find that you have not REALLY got it out of your system; in fact you will continue to simmer and burn inside. Your equilibrium will be disturbed.
- On the other hand if you control it for those few moments your system will throw it out eventually. You will not remember it( the person or incident) for long, and it will be easier to forgive them!
St. Francis De Sales says, “The greatest fallacy in this world is that not one man thinks that his anger is unjust! But, the truth is that there is nothing like reasonable anger!”
7. Humility is the key to controlling your anger for it is our ego that supplies fuel to anger by finding others faults and ignoring our own.”
The Gita says that always use words that are, Satyam- Priyam -Hitam …True-Pleasing-Beneficial. And only that man who can control his anger, when under fire (verbal or otherwise) is a true Veer, or powerful man! So, let us all try to be a little brave and fight this enemy within, which is ruining our lives and relationships!