Children open up and learn most when they are given a clear direction. A consistent approach from parents is the proper approach.
Why be clear?
You must first attain clarity within yourself and act out through simple, understandable, and direct instructions. You must then clarify yourself what exactly it means to be clear.
In order to be understood, it is best to talk in plain and understandable context. Using short sentences that are descriptive can help illustrate what you mean.
Being indecisive will cause more confusion to your child.
More often than not, parental figures do not realize that they change their minds every few minutes. In order to understand your own patterns and behaviors, observing yourself and asking your spouse can help in this process.
“we are going to be leaving in 10 minutes”, is a direct sentence.
“We are leaving now, grab your jacket”, this is also a direct sentence, and is very easy to follow.
In order to be successful, you must be firm and aggressive about this. You do not want to give the impression that the action will take place in the unknown future, but now.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed multiple occasions where parents give simple instructions, only to become distracted themselves. When a child sees their parent say one thing, and do another, they become confused. When this happens on a consistent basis, it brings no question to mind why children have trouble following simple instructions.
Forms of discipline:
It is very important to follow through with your actions. Discipline is no exception; if you state a consequence, and do not follow through with it, the child will grow more accustomed to seeing no consequence when not following directions.
You must first find for yourself what it means to be firm:
In order to be firm, you must be determined and certain.
This includes saying no, and actually meaning no; Saying yes, and actually meaning yes; It is about now being now. In common cases, the word now has many meanings children. It can mean later, maybe, next time, perhaps, and soon. When coming to discipline, this is a major fault that can lead to numerous mixed messages for the child.
Not following to the pressure of your child, letting them get their way, is an important factor in getting your children to listen to you. Do not let your children manipulate you! Your life will become very clear when you become firm with yourself.
With every child, they have the right to know they are able to trust their parents boundaries. In order for this to happen, you must become determined in your abilities to apply this into your discipline.
“It is now time for bed” is pointing in a clear and direct direction. Now it is important to follow through with this.
Tone of voice is also important in your children understanding what you mean to say. Being disciplined is controlling both yourself and the situation.
Consistency is the key:
In order to be consistent, you must find consistency in yourself and follow through in a determined way. Consistency is being dependable and reliable.
At first it will be very time-consuming and require a lot of concentration in order be firm. Please note that this statement is show to be completely true. It takes much concentration to change the old habits and replace it with new ones. It is also very hard to maintain the consistency of your behaviors.
Parent discipline is about teaching our children to have self-control, discipline, and grow accustomed to self-reliance. We need to make sure that our children are able to make good choices for themselves.
The only way to learn this is by giving them opportunities to learn.
This consists of loosening up, not being overprotective, and not doing everything for them. In order to gain his self-control and self-reliance, we need to maximize their opportunities to learn through personal experiences and observations.
This is the formula for establishing a happy, well-adjusted family.