Internet Intimacy: Reality or Illusion

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I was single and a high school teacher at the time and the Internet was so popular among students that it made me curious about it and tried to surf the web. I’m not really a fan of surfing the web because I mainly use the pc at home to do some paper work or things that I needed to research for school. But well, one Saturday evening, I decided to test myself if I will know how to use a free chat room. I started to enter into the category “single 20-30” but after 30 minutes of chatting, I turned off the computer. The reason why? I never enjoyed the people that were there. Since you can’t tell who they were, they just type nasty things about the people whom they disliked and the things that they hated in life. There were some men who were nice at the start of the conversation but they just turned out to be very impolite after awhile. One guy even asked the color of my underwear. I found it to be disrespectful and too annoying. I gave the chat room one more visit thinking that maybe there were a few good people out there but I soon realized that I was just wasting my time so I decided that it was better for me to focus more on my work, hopefully meet my future partner offline and just stay away from the Internet.

Well, to make my story short, three years had past, I was in my early thirties, still single and still curious about online dating. Honestly, I heard a lot of negative stories than success stories about Internet dating but I still decided to give it another try and checked it out again. But after my two annoying chat experiences, I never used any of the Internet chat rooms again. I was still teaching at that time, a job that always made me feel proud of myself and busy after graduating college.

This time, I tried to check about dating sites and when I typed dating sites and clicked it, to my surprise, I found so many that made me wonder which to join and register. I tried to look for trusted dating sites so I surfed the Internet again and still, there were a lot of selections to choose from. When I was able to choose one that I thought was good, I started to fill-in the things and answered the questions that was asked about myself in my dating profile and lastly, posted a picture together with my dog in it.

I was glad that the next morning was Sunday and well, excited to check my emails. I was really happy to receive an email from the dating site that I recently joined in informing me that I had some emails there in my in-box. I received three emails at the time, read each one and checked their profiles as well. Of the three emails, I found one that was well written and thought that it was truly worthy of my response but I still made an effort to say a short hello to the other two. The next day, I found a response from that one person and from that day on it no longer stopped until a year after when it was his time to visit me. He came from the West while I from Asia.

When I saw him at the airport, it immediately made me felt that it was only an illusion. My brother who was with me at the airport was able to recognize him because we were able to send a lot of pictures when we’re still communicating every single day. The reality only came when he was able to hug me and talk with my brother. When he came back to his country, he told me that he was truly happy that I accepted his marriage proposal and had met my family. It took us another year to wait for my fiancee papers to process in order for us to be together.

Even with the two years of daily communication online, there were still many times that Internet intimacy made me felt that it was more of an illusion than reality. The illusion only ended when we were able to stop using it and had lived together as a couple. For three years, I can say that our marriage has a lot of challenges because we grew up with different culture, tradition and family background. His dad left their family when he was still little and this had hurt him truly. I was just thankful that he was honest about his life during the time when we communicated online. To sum it all, I was still glad that I used the Internet because I can still say that I am happy living with my foreign husband together with our healthy daughter.


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